


i want to be with you through everything

by dankobah



Category: Star Wars - All Media Types, Star Wars Sequel Trilogy
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Bathtub Sex, F/M, ben fucking lives, dare i say more?, started as a twitter fic, tros isn't shit
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-02-19
Updated: 2020-02-19
Packaged: 2021-02-28 02:21:22
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,209
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22796224
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/dankobah/pseuds/dankobah
Summary: He moves wrong and the pins in his knees hurt like hell. He has to remind himself it's been worse.He could have no Rey at all. She could be limp in his arms again, on Exegol.  She could be lifeless, staring up at the ships and stars that aren't there tohelp them.
Relationships: Rey/Ben Solo | Kylo Ren
Comments: 8
Kudos: 133





	i want to be with you through everything

**Author's Note:**

> tags  
> mention of having children  
> unsafe sex

The mud, blood, and dust coagulate on his skin when the water touches it. 

It's his first bath since Exegol, and his useless and broken leg is dry and hanging out of the tub. His mother's bathroom is private, secluded.

But he is alone. Rey visits on occasion, while he’s passed out of course.

Ben can tell they're trying to keep her away from him, wary of his "dark influence" on her. What good could a man with a shattered leg do? Corrupt her? 

He moves wrong and the pins in his knees hurt like hell. He has to remind himself it's been worse.

He could have no Rey at all. She could be limp in his arms again, on Exegol. She could be lifeless, staring up at the ships and stars that aren't there to help them.

Well maybe to help her, but certainly not him. He's done too much, despite sitting in front of Leia and confessing his crimes and First Order secrets. 

He had given them what they wanted and they gave him medical attention. A fair trade considering his leg was fucking shattered.

Getting thrown into the pit was punishment but climbing out of it to help her, to sap his own energy for her, was easy. It's one of those things you just do without a decision. 

Spreading fragrant rose soap on his skin, he stares ahead. There's no way he can get off this base.

Not alive, his mother would probably have him shot on sight if he tried to escape. It's what he deserves. 

The door opens in the other room and he futilely covers himself with the loofah, shoving it over his cock in order not to expose.

Ben can't see the intruder from the bathroom and he wishes they didn't confiscate his fucking saber. He also wishes he didn't throw the other one in the ocean but love makes you crazy things.

He's on a base full of people he's tried to kill and utterly defenseless. Taking a deep breath, he sighs loud to warn the intruder he knows they're there. 

Then he continues to buff all the grime off his skin.

If he's going to die, he's going to die with his cock out. It's a way to go. 

Then he hears a telling female sigh and straightens up. 

He chances, "Rey?" 

She calls, "Ben?" His heart speeds up.

She's here and near him, and he's an idiot trapped in a tub. What if she's the one they sent to kill him? 

Someone familiar would suit them well. She asks, "Where are you?" 

"The tub. Come to kill me?"

There's a pause. Then Rey appears in the doorway of the bathroom. She looks disheveled and dirty too, blood still on her face. "Do you know how heavy you are?" That's a good first thing to say to someone. 

He frowns, "I can imagine."

She sits down on the edge, near his knee. "I carried you from that stupid arena to the nearest Resistance ship, who refused to take you and me until I threatened them with death." 

He hums, "Sounds hard." 

"Then your mother was like hysterical." 

That gives him pause.

"Hysterical?" 

She nods, "She's your mother. I would be shocked if she wasn't. She wouldn't let medical people touch you at first until we saw your leg was basically crushed." 

He swallows, "Hm."

"Just hm?" 

He nods and dunks his head under the water, not having his normal hair care routine and regretting it. Then he looks at her, wetness dripping into his eyes as he squirts shampoo in his palm.

"She does love you. I don't think you'd be taking a bath by yourself if she didn't."

Ben shrugs, "Or she's sent you to kill me." 

Rey begins to laugh, and he's unamused. Then she looks away and shakes her head. "I would've killed you after you kissed me, stupid."

There's another complication: the kiss. It was a mutual thing and he rather enjoyed it until he passed out from the pain. 

He admits, "I liked it."

She takes a long pause then she says, trying to be nonchalant, "Good. I did too. I mean obviously I did, you're you and-" 

Her blush is so deep and she cuts herself off and it's the prettiest fucking thing he's seen. 

He chances, "So what do we do now?"

She bites her lip before standing up, looking at the tub. "Can I get in?" 

He looks at the disgusting and dirty water that's managed to camouflage him from the waist down. "Go ahead. If you can fit." 

"With you? Probably not."

He laughs at that, hearty and rocking his lungs before it dies as she strips off her stained shirt. Her body has bumps and bruises as she strips down, purple blooms across her ribs like his. Then she steps into the bath, slumping down and wedging herself between his legs.

The water drips from the faucet as she settles. Ben reaches forward timidly to dump a handful of water over her head to mitigate the blood. Rey looks like a sour cat as it lands on her, and some of the blood washes away.

He apologizes, “Forgive me, you’re just really messy.” 

“You and your mother. She practically demanded I come in here and take a bath after you were done.” He snorts.

She continues, “But of course I like this idea much better.” Rey looks over at his broken leg, at the fixators attached to his leg to keep him together until they can get a fresh shipment of bacta in. The whole galaxy is in a shortage due to the aftermath of the war and clearly, he’s last priority. He crosses his arms over his large chest and stares at her bare one, not wanting to be a creep but interested in her perky breasts, despite dots of blood.

If anything that makes it hotter. He gulps, setting his jaw as he washes the shampoo out of his hair, not minding it as it gets in his eyes. He deserves it at this rate.

Rey, clearly sifting his head, “You don’t deserve shampoo in your eyes, stupid.” He’s forgotten about the presence of the force until this moment and now that he remembers, he reaches out and slides the door shut to Leia’s bathroom. Then he throws the lock and it clicks.

He sighs, “Much better.” Rey doesn’t even look scared. 

Rey begins to wash herself with the fragrant rose soap and he finds himself saying, “Wish I could do that.”

She looks through her lashes before handing him the loofah and sticking out her chest like a cocky rooster would. “Go ahead, then.”

This is the moment where he realizes he’s never touched a girl on her chest before. He’s a hopeless virgin when it comes to shit like this, and she must be thinking this is just casual bathtime between two buddies. “Are you going to touch me or not?”

Ben springs into action, rubbing the loofah and soapy foam across her chest and smearing the blood around before it washes off her skin. “Thank you. Can you use your hands, actually?”

His hands? He looks down at the oven mitts he calls hands before nodding in determination. Then he settles one over her heart and begins to rub along her chest, struggling to play it cool. Her head is clear, almost empty with relaxation as he does it. 

He takes a moment to be bold, thumbing over her nipple delicately. He’s read books, seen holos, and he’s heard the chatter between First Order officers on how to please (or the less fun alternative, fuck her while she lies there) a woman. None of that is helping at this moment, fumbling around in the dark for a lightswitch to a room that’ll just get darker with illumination.

Does Rey know what she likes? Is he getting ahead of himself? Is he-

“I want that.”

Does she want it?

Why the hell would she want a monster like him to touch her? Rey leans even closer, practically folding herself in half as she stares at him. “Don’t you dare call yourself a monster after you brought me back from the dead.”

Ben wants to argue but she cuts him off, “Were you supposed to just stay in that pit and let me die? No, and you know you weren’t because that’s what a real monster would do. You’ve done bad things but you saved my life, Ben.”

Rey crosses her arms over her chest in defiance then. “I don’t know what’s going to happen to us-”

He asks, “Us?”

Rey swallows, “I asked Leia not to separate us. This means that if you go to prison, I should go to prison too.”

She’s being foolish and he remarks, “You realize my mother can’t promise that. You realize I have nothing going for me except being a mouth to feed and a broken leg to tend over some other soldier’s head wound.”

“If you defect-”

“Defect? You want me to run over here with the biggest smile on my face and join your cause, despite everyone on this base wanting me dead? I would if I could, Rey.”

She looks heartbroken. Not just heartbroken, crushed like his leg beneath that rock that fell on him at the bottom of the pit. Come to think of it, it’s a feat of nature he could climb out at all.

Rey answers the unsaid query of himself, “You were meant to save me. That’s why you could climb out.”

His heart hurts and he leans his head against the tile wall. Rey scoots even closer. “What if we had a life away from this?”

“Go on.” He likes to dream about her, maybe dreaming with her would be even better.

Her voice gets low like she’s telling a story, “We go away to a little island, we live off the land. Away from war, from sickness, from your mother.” That makes him snort.

She continues, “We leave this all behind and just live. Maybe eventually we’d train-”

He interrupts, “I can’t train anyone.” 

Gesturing to his leg, “Not in this state certainly.”

“Your leg will heal once we get bacta.”

He shakes his head, “Doubt they’ll give it to me. I’m not a Resistance fighter.”

“You’re the general’s son though.”

“Disgraced son.”

“Still very much loved by her actually. Given I’m in the same bath as you right now.”

That gives him pause and he sighs deeply. “Don’t know why she would. I’m a shitty son.”

Rey rolls her eyes, “Will you stop this masochist shit if I kiss you? I think you need it, grumpy.”

He rolls his eyes and grabs her gently by the back of her neck, pulling her close to him so her lips can smash against his like the moments before everything went black on Exegol. 

Only this time he’s on enough pain medication that it’s hard to move, so he can thoroughly enjoy the kiss for what it is: a kiss with the girl whom he loves to pieces. She accepts it, all of the tangling of tongues and bumping of teeth. She accepts the way he bites on her lower lip and pulls.

Rey breaks their lips first, breathing heavily and watching him closely as he squirts conditioner in his palm and tries to ignore that he wants to do a lot more than just kiss her. He runs the product through his hair to let it sit, and says roughly, “Clean yourself up.”

“This bathwater is nearly black.”

“It’s not black yet.” She rolls her eyes and grabs the shampoo, taking out her three buns to reveal long hair that hits her shoulder blades. Then she dunks her head underwater, slaps the palmful of shampoo on her scalp and leans towards him again.

“Wash my hair.” He does as he’s told, scratching her scalp as he shampoos. He finds cuts on her face as he does. 

“Did you get checked by medical?”

She shakes her head. He says, “You’re doing that as soon as you’re clean.” 

Ben takes his time in washing her hair, knowing that she’s probably never had the luxury of someone taking their time with her tresses. For a girl so oriented around her hair, that’s a travesty.

Rey bites her lip in the most enticing way as he does and she reaches out to touch a spot below his sternum, submerged in water. The touch feels electric even beneath the water, current seizing his arms and causing him to stop his scalp scratching. Then Rey scoots even closer and sets both hands on his shoulders.

“I want to kiss you again.” 

Ben snorts, “You’re insatiable. I don’t know what I’m going to do with you-” She kisses him to silence him, and he doesn’t notice the sound of his mother’s door opening or the shuffle of droids. 

Then there’s a knock on the frosted glass and they spring away from each other. C3PO, his voice ever so recognizable rings out cheerfully despite the robot race, “Master Ben? Are you alright in there?” Rey begins to giggle and he clamps a hand over her mouth.

She narrows her eyes while he does. “Just fine.”

“Do you need any assistance?”

“All good 3PO.”

“Can I say how much your presence has delighted your mother-”

“3PO I’m kind of busy.”

“Busy with what?”

“Stuff.” Rey is wiggling around in his grip and he struggles with her.

“Master Ben, are you sure you don’t need help?”

What’s with the droid calling him master? Is that a sick joke from his mother or whoever worked on the droid prior?

He says, “I’m fine, 3PO. I swear.”

Rey breaks from his grip, “3PO, can you go tell Leia we’re fine in here?”

“Master Rey, is that you? What are you doing in there?” Ben scowls at Rey and she smiles.

“Because I can be.” 

R2D2 beeps, “This is against protocol.”

Rey replies, “R2, beep off. We’re busy.” She adjusts even closer to him and Ben inhales sharply as she gets close to his leg.

“I’m not going to even bump it, I swear.”

C3PO interjects, “Master Rey?”

Rey growls, “Go back to Leia, I mean it.” The droids finally walk away from the door and she rolls her eyes to herself.

“I thought they got blown to pieces on Exegol. I wish they did.”

C3PO calls back, “That’s highly unnecessary-” Rey raises her hand and he hears the crash of metal and the closing of the door to Leia’s quarters. Ben raises his eyebrow.

“I don’t like being interrupted when I’m about to-” She stops and blushes.

Ben has an inkling but he asks anyway, “About to what?”

She hums and then says, “Uh, I should admit that I’ve never done something like this before.”

Ben knows what she’s talking about but he decides to let her sweat a little, “Done what? What are you about to do to the injured and captured Supreme Leader of the galaxy?”

She snorts, “Supreme Leader of what? The First Order is gone, Ben. It blew to pieces over Exegol, and now that we have you…” she trails off before regaining her thoughts, “Anyways that’s completely beside the point. I don’t know what I want to do to you. I don’t know what I can do to you when you’re like this and we’re in this tiny bathtub, and what I’m saying is that I want to fuck you within an inch of your life.”

At least she’s clear about it. Ben inhales deeply and tries very hard to keep his cool composure. Inside, he’s jumping for joy with sparklers in his hands. Rey continues, “And I think I want to because I want to, and I’m attracted to you, not because you saved me or anything.”

Ben asks, “How do I make this happen?”

“Make what happen?” He stares at her with a scowl and she giggles, “Oh, uh...I don’t exactly know is the thing. I’ve seen holos and usually they just jump into it but I don’t think you can even jump.”

He puffs out his chest, “Oh I jump. How high?”

She stares pointedly at his leg and he shrugs, “How high?” That makes her laugh and she shrugs. Then she climbs even closer to him, straddling her body with her knees on either side of his bruised torso. He inhales sharply as her knee presses into the bruise. 

She asks, “Am I hurting you?” 

He shakes his head, “No.”

“Good. So I can be rough with you?”

He nods, knowing this is probably a mistake given his leg and bruises. She feels along his face, “Or maybe I’ll be sweet. Slow. Wanton.” Each word drips with honey, saccharine and sweet on his tongue.

He reminds, “You and I both know that we’ve waited long enough for something like this.”

“So?”

He suggests, “So go as slow as you want or as fast as you want. We can wait for a little longer if we need to.”

Rey contemplates for a moment before looking down between them and grasping his cock with a hand. It’s been bobbing between them this entire time like an enticing treat. He’s surprised she’s resisted so long with it being right there.

He hiccups and she giggles. “Did I scare you?”

He recovers, “Not at all. Use both hands.” Rey puts her other hand on his cock and he bites his lip, a deep breath rocking his lungs. Damn him for being a virgin, he should be the experienced one out of the two. He would know what he likes beyond how he pictured her stroking his cock.

Rey confesses, “I like that you’re a virgin.”

He perks up and she continues, “You’re just like me then and it means that we’ll be losing it together. That’s better than some dark sider concubine offered up by your master.”

“Snoke never offered me concubines. I was never important enough for that.”

She says, “Good. Because I’m a jealous person and I don’t think I could handle someone not good enough with my Ben.” Her hands start pumping and he chews on the inside of his cheek.

“You’re mine now. Leia can’t take you from me.”

He shakes his head, “I won’t let her.”

Still pumping her hands, “You better not.”

The way she looks while she pleasures him is rivaled to the maker himself, so heavenly with a pouty lower lip and a fire in her eyes. 

Then she looks from side to side, before beginning to lower her head. Ben springs into action, “Wait, don’t drown yourself.” Rey looks annoyed and he looks distressed, still wanting a blowjob but wanting to accommodate her during it. 

Rey tries, “Lift up a little.” Ben struggles but he manages to lift up his body. Rey adjusts herself, shoving her knee where he would sit. He lowers back down gently, and it gives him enough of a boost out of the water for her to access his cock.

“Better?”

She bashfully admits, “Better.” It doesn’t take long for her to dive in, lips wrapping around the head of his cock and swirling her tongue around the slit. She looks as if she’s eating a delicious meal, eyes wide as she looks up at him and reaches between her legs to touch herself. That makes him feel helpless, unable to lean forward and put his hand down there himself.

He wants to explore her like a gallery, traipse through her halls and peek into all the nooks and crannies that are wholly her. Fingering her until her thighs shook and she whispered his name like a prayer would be a fantastic way to do it, if he can confess so.

Rey taps his cock on her tongue as she pulls off for a break for breath. Then she says, smiling, “I’ve been thinking about the way your cock tastes for the last year.”

He feels stupid as he asks, “Is it everything you’ve ever hoped for?”

Rey nods, “I want it in my mouth all day. Can I have that?” 

Ben confesses, “I’d really want that but that would scandalize the entirety of the Resistance.”

Rey shrugs before kissing the tip, “I guess I’ll settle for nights. And mornings. I’m sure Leia would let me have access to your room anytime I wanted.” 

Is his mother that determined to get him laid? The effort is valiant, though unwelcome given that it’s his life. Gaining access to his room that he’s been trapped in would be a feat. “Rey, they’re probably going to exile me.”

“So defect so they can’t.”

“Even if I could defect, I’m not worthy enough for this cause.” That gives her pause and she still grips the base of his cock. 

He adds, “And some of it I don’t agree with for stupid reasons.” Maybe that’s enough justification not to completely give in to what his heart is telling him: join her and his mother.

Rey swallows, “You saved my life. You’re worthy.”

The words echo in his ears and his belly tightens up as she goes back to sucking him off.

Her blowjob technique seems to be impeccable for a virgin. Of course, he wouldn’t know perfect blowjob techniques outright but he feels warm and mushy and she’s not using teeth on his cock. That’s all he can ask for, right?

Rey pulls her mouth off of him, a trail of spit webbing between the head and her reddened and pouty lips. Then Rey looks over at his leg and back down at herself. “So uh...should I just climb on top?”

Ben bites his lip, seeing no other option. “Just don’t put any weight on it. Are you sure you want to do this? We can wait until my leg is better-”

Rey says, “Ben if you don’t take my virginity right now, I’ll scream like a banshee until you do.” Fair point well made, and he helps her get on top of him. The bath is cramped to begin with, even more so with her on top. Ben helps her line up since he feels useless unless he does something.

He says, “I promise when my leg is better, I’ll fuck you forwards and backwards.” 

She giggles, “I know you will. We’ll get all that pent up dark side out of you in no time, Mr.”

Then Rey sinks onto the head, eyes blowing wide at the intrusion. “Oh.”

He’s worried immediately, “Should we stop?”

“I’m not porcelain, Solo. Just give me a minute to sink.”

He gives her a minute like she asks. He’s trying very hard not to unleash his protective side, an insidious seed that ruins people’s lives. Ben wants to be better, actively better in anything he does.

Rey works down his cock slowly, stopping on occasion to let herself stretch. She’s impossibly tight and it takes him a lot of strength not to come straight inside of her. He knows he’s going to have to pull out, his dad would be rolling over in his grave given that’s how Ben was conceived. They’re not ready for that yet, so that’s the only option to ward away the possibilities besides an embarrassing trip to medical to ask for condoms right now.

“I don’t want one either. I was worried you did.” He forgets his thoughts are open season to her. 

Ben shrugs, “It’s not the right time.”

Rey nods, and she sinks fully on top of him, a little bit left at the base but anatomically impossible to fit into her. He wishes he could just live in her like this, especially when she begins to carefully bounce.

She does it in a way not to jostle his leg, but to still make sure her breasts move up and down on her chest. He appreciates her for that, and she sends him a wink in return while she rubs between her thighs.

Ben shoves her hand aside, reaching into the water and starting to rub the nub at the apex. “This is my job.”

“Is it?”

Ben nods and she replies, “Then you’re very good at your job.”

He takes the compliment in stride and rubs tight circles and spirals into her, watching her bite her lip and rock her hips on top of him to get him as deep as she can. 

Their anatomy may be a little mismatched, smaller and bigger, but the Force sure loves them fucking. It sings harmoniously in his head, all around them as they perform the carnal act, sealing their dyad with tight stitches of golden thread. 

Their bond cannot be broken, and he will not allow himself to be taken away from her. No matter what it takes.

He finds himself saying, “I’ll defect.”

Rey slows and he continues, “But only for you. I don’t want people to think I’m doing this for any other reason-” She cuts him off with a deep kiss as she keeps moving up and down on him. 

She pulls away only an inch and whispers, “I knew all along there was still good in you. I’m glad I’m **right**.”

**Author's Note:**

> this originally started as a [twitter fic](https://twitter.com/dankobah/status/1229774466005094400?s=20). any weird or choppy formatting can be blamed on that. thoughts and feelings are welcome @ [twitter](https://twitter.com/dankobah) and [tumblr](https://dankobah.tumblr.com/). 
> 
> work title is inspired by ["boy with luv" by BTS](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=p-4_cv_LPPs)


End file.
